Annoying Local Behavior

[Old55]

44 minutes ago, RBM said:

A wise man once said......Give them what they need not what they want.................

Very true in many cases. On the other hand it's not so easy. A foreigner attempting to do the right thing for Filipino family is like pushing string. 

[Tommy T.]

12 minutes ago, Old55 said:

Very true in many cases. On the other hand it's not so easy. A foreigner attempting to do the right thing for Filipino family is like pushing string. 

Thank God I have L to guide me!... The quaint local customs here drive me nuts and I really cannot navigate them alone. There are many subtleties that I am not aware of, go afoul of or miss entirely...

[Tommy T.]

2 hours ago, Onemore52 said:

We both went to the local SM on Wednesday and I suggested she drive, at the car park like a true local she parked the car as close to the entrance as possible, I came out later to put the groceries in the car and having a shopping trolley with me I couldn’t get to the car because of the other cars parking so close to our car.

Yesterday I went to the same SM, same car park but I parked the car in the furthest park away from the entrance, and came back 2 hours later and there wasn’t any other cars within spitting distance from it.

When I feel like watching a comedy show I stand in the car park and watch them how they will go to any lengths to park as close as they can to the entrance, sometimes doing ten point turns to get into the park

Whenever we go to a mall and I am driving, I do like my Dad did... park as far away as possible also and next to a pole or barricade. "That way you can only get hit on one side!" My Dad was very smart... Personally, I don't care if I have to walk an extra 50 meters to my car... the exercise is good and a bit of the local heat is not a big deal...

[hk blues]

4 hours ago, Mike J said:

I asked my wife about the often lack of "thank you" or any real sense of appreciation when gifting/giving to family etc.  Her response was surprising to me as it showed the difference in western versus Philippine culture.  Basically what she said was that the Filipino's expectation is that if you have the means you will provide small gifts, food, money, etc. for your extended family, if you are an employer it is your duty to pay  him/her.  These are "duties" on your part, expectations on there's.  We as Western's are surprised and disappointed there is not a "Thank You", and the Filipino may be disappointed and/or confused and don't understand why we expect gratitude for something we should be doing as family, friend, or employer, etc.  I think Filipinos see "thank you" as a gesture of gratitude, and why should there be gratitude shown when someone doing what is right, proper, fulfilling your duty, etc.   Neither party is right or wrong, it just is what it is.  I admit it used to bother my a lot, now not really, but I do enjoy it when I am thanked. 

My observation and opinion of course, and I am often wrong. 

You have certainly phrased it less directly then I did, Mike, but at the end of the day it is more or less what I said in my earlier post - a culture of expectation and entitlement. 

 It's one case where I won't follow the old rule 'When in Rome..."

[Freebie]

5 hours ago, Old55 said:

may be overthinking this (likely). For a Filipino to acknowledging a favor or gift could that cause a loss of face or accept some sort of obligation or admitting a lower pecking order? 

Nothing of the sort.. talk to well educated older  Filipinos and they will tell you that people have become lazy. Spoilt and lazy and that they themselves were also taught god manners in schools. Overpopulation in almost  every area of this country has caused people to display a lack of care of others.. see it in drivers, in daily manners or lack thereof.... and yes some people  ( yes Priests , Im looking at you ! ) seem to think more babies is a good thing...

Its absolutely the worst thing possible for this country. But yes, thats a different subject matter.

[Possum]

5 hours ago, Viking said:

 

The same people who never say thank you after receiving something, don't have any problems asking for a gift.

Many people do say thanks, but a surprisingly large number don't. That's my experience.

Years ago when I was traveling back and forth to the Philippines I got annoyed when within a few minutes of seeing me after a few months absence I would be asked by acquaintances, "What did you bring me?" Being tired after a 20-30 hour trip I found it very annoying. My answer became,"I brought you me!" 

We always bring a small souvenir when we return from a trip for family but that's kinda normal anywhere.

[hk blues]

14 minutes ago, Freebie said:

Nothing of the sort.. talk to well educated older  Filipinos and they will tell you that people have become lazy. Spoilt and lazy and that they themselves were also taught god manners in schools. Overpopulation in almost  every area of this country has caused people to display a lack of care of others.. see it in drivers, in daily manners or lack thereof.... and yes some people  ( yes Priests , Im looking at you ! ) seem to think more babies is a good thing...

Its absolutely the worst thing possible for this country. But yes, thats a different subject matter.

I tend to agree and use my won son as an example. He goes to one of the better schools and, being British and therefore the epitome of good manners and politeness  , we always teach him to remember his Ps and Qs.  Yet, he is guilty of forgetting as he isn't seeing it all around him all day, every day.  Unfortunately, peer pressure nowadays is more powerful than parent pressure - things ain't like they were  in the past guys! 

[mountainside]

2 hours ago, hk blues said:

things ain't like they were  in the past guys!

Nor here in the US.  Pinoy OFW teachers here report that their greatest cultural challenge is coping with their rude, unruly, inattentive students.

[Tommy T.]

1 hour ago, mountainside said:

Nor here in the US.  Pinoy OFW teachers here report that their greatest cultural challenge is coping with their rude, unruly, inattentive students.

Really? And these are American students? Time to break out the paddles and whips? Or maybe stun guns? My God... when I was a kid growing up - forever ago - I was afraid of the school principle's temper and belt... I was not the most behaved kid, by far... but I feared the strap from the principal a lot!!!

 

[Mike J]

2 hours ago, Tommy T. said:

I was not the most behaved kid, by far

That is what your mom always said.